Strategies I Wished I Had Understood Before Tying the Knot with a Fellow Hoarder
In a real-life scenario, I wound up tying the knot with a fellow pack rat. Neither of us knew what we were in for when it came to managing our belongings, but hindsight is 20/20. Here are the ins and outs of living in harmony with another hoarder.
We'd Swiftly Fill Every available Space
Despite having a fairly spacious apartment in the city, we swiftly used up all the room with our collections of books, vinyl, DVDs, and assorted trinkets. To top it all off, a wave of wedding gifts brought in china, crystal, and more goodies that took over our dining room, effectively turning it into a storage space for books. I contemplate that if we eventually upgrade to a larger home, we would take years to fill it to capacity, given our two kids, two cats, and two dogs.
Moving Would be a Herculean Task
To our dismay, moving turned out to be a much lengthier and more daunting process than expected. One partner vastly underestimated the time it would take to pack up our belongings, resulting in late-night pack-a-thons in the days leading up to the move. I am already making plans to streamline future moves by implementing some serious decluttering beforehand.
We'd Always Be Able to Find What We Need—Even If It's Buried
If you need an old iPhone cord, a random screw, or swim goggles, we have got you covered—you just might have to search every nook and cranny of the house to find it. Sometimes it feels like items magically appear when we've finally thrown out a duplicate or bought it for the first time.
Keeping Our Home Clean Would be More Difficult Than Expected
It is not surprising that a home with two pack rats requires more effort to keep clean. We accumulate drifts of discarded papers, stacks of items waiting to be put away, and piles of unattended items on bathroom and kitchen counters. It's essential to employ regular deep cleans and implement systems to make cleaning more manageable.
Strategies for Decluttering with a Fellow Hoarder
Maintaining an organized home with a partner who also struggles to part with belongings can prove difficult. Here are a few tips to help you move forward:
1. Agree on Areas of Responsibility
Divide the home into sections that each partner is responsible for. This will help reduce conflict and allow each person to decide what stays or goes in their area.
2. Make it Fun
Turn decluttering into a game or create incentives to keep things interesting. For example, set a timer and challenge each other to see who can declutter the most items in a given time frame or plan rewards for reaching decluttering milestones.
3. Implement the One In/One Out Rule
Whenever you bring a new item into the home, get rid of an existing one to maintain a balance.
4. Create a Decluttering Schedule
Plan regular decluttering sessions and assign tasks to each family member to share the workload and help manage the process more efficiently.
5. The Three-Pile Method
Divide items into three categories: Keep, Donate/Sell, and Discard. This will simplify the decision-making process and help you focus on what really matters.
6. Embrace the Emotional Attachment
Acknowledge that some items have sentimental value for each partner. Have open discussions about why certain items are important and try to find compromises on what to keep and what to let go of.
By following these strategies, you and your pack rat partner can work together to create a more organized home while respecting each other's emotional attachments to certain items. Keep in mind that it takes time, effort, and patience to make progress, but it is achievable!
In our real-life situation, we'd swiftly fill every available space in our home with collections, turning even the dining room into a storage space. Given our two kids, two cats, and two dogs, moving would be a Herculean task, as one partner underestimated the time required to pack up our belongings. However, we'd always be able to find what we need—even if it's buried—in the nooks and crannies of our home. For organizing our lifestyle, we must employ strategies for decluttering with a fellow hoarder, such as agreeing on areas of responsibility, making it fun, implementing the one in/one out rule, creating a decluttering schedule, using the three-pile method, and embracing the emotional attachment to certain items.
