Toxic Tome: Growing Squash Sneakily in Your Apartment
Cultivating Squash in Pots: Guidance on Sowing, Nurturing, and Reaping Squash
Fall is creeping up right around the corner, which means it's time to start stocking up on them flavorful fall recipes like comfy soups, savory salads, and decadent pasta. Our secret ingredient this time of year? That arrogant, bitchin' squash! But doesn't growing squash sound like a tough, heart-wrenching chore, especially if you're stuck in a cramped city apartment? Far from it, my pumpkin-spiced friend! This guide will show you how to grow fall's most iconic veggies right in your cozy pad, whether you've got a huge garden plot or just a smidgen of balcony space.
First off, let's squash some fears - pun intended - about growing veggies. Yup, you heard us: soggy, soggy vegetables in YOUR apartment! We're gonna take you on a wild ride, and before you know it, you'll be the talk of the block (or of the building's rickety elevator) with your killer harvest!
Caging the Squash Beast: Container Veggie Gardening
Growing squash in a glorified pot might seem like a daunting task, but it's definitely doable. We'll give you the lowdown on the process, then drop some gardening hints throughout the article to keep your plants looking healthy and fresh!
How to Grow Squash in Your Tiny Apartment Jail
- Choose your weed: There are a ton of squash plants to pick from, ranging from sweet and hearty to light and savory. The biggest factor will be growing season; squashes are either summer or winter. If you fancy getting your Scrooge on with a butternut, start in mid-summer. For some musical fruit (zucchini, anyone?), get your groove on in late spring.
- Go old school or new school: Depending on what month it is, you'll wanna start with either seeds or pre-grown transplants. Both are good choices for container growing, but each one comes with its freakin' challenges.
- Get a big-ass pot: Pickin' the right container is crucial to your plants' success and final yield. You'll need a container with a minimum 24-inch diameter that's at least 12 inches deep to let the roots stretch out. Poke some drainage holes, too - very important for moisture control! You may also require a trellis, depending on whether your plant is a bush or vining squash.
- Consider the base mix: The right soil is essential for a bountiful harvest. Opt for a blank-smacking mix of potting soil, compost, and organic matter that's soft 'n' drains well.
- Get to growin': Regardless of whether you decide to roll with seeds or transplants, your squash plants will adore lots of sunlight, mild temps, and proper water.
- Harvest and indulge: Depending on the variety, squash will be ready to rip from the vine either when the skin has hardened or reached the right length.
Pickin' the Right Gourd: Choosing Your Squash Colors and Styles
Squash: Not Just for the Pumpkin Patch Anymore!
The term "squash" encompasses a wide variety of vegetables that belong to the awesome gourd family. Because they contain seeds, they technically classify as fruit. Y'all love our wordplay, right?
Since squash covers a vast array of veggies, there's one for every flavor profile. Here are some of our favs:
- Butternut: Classic fall favorite. It's a fall staple for soup, ravioli, and bowls.
- Acorn: Delish with a little melted butter and brown sugar.
- Delicata: Long with a light green exterior, you can chow down on the skin with this one!
- Honeynut: Butternut's richer, sweeter lil' sis.
- Pumpkin: Not just for carving!
- Pattypan: A cute-ass-a-button savory squash.
- Zucchini: Ruler of succotash, bread, and stir fry.
- Yellow: The reliable champ.
- Squash Blossoms: Not actually a fruit, but a delicious byproduct of a squash plant.
- Zephyr: A hybrid squash with a sweet, nutty flavor.
Summer Squash vs. Winter Squash
As summer fades into winter, we're at a critical point for squash growth. Choose the right plant for the right season, and your garden will have a better shot at producing some delish pie-filler. The main difference between summer and winter squash is their desired season.
Summer Squash
Summer squashes thrive in the heat and need about 60 days to grow from seed to seedling. They're a tad dainty, since they must be picked before they fully mature. If you let a summer squash hang around too long, it becomes a tough, watery mess. Thankfully, its thin, tender skin adds some flavor and texture that the others can't touch.
Type-o summer squashes include zucchini, yellow squash, zephyr, and squash blossoms.
Winter Squash
Winter squashes are tough cookies and do best in the cold. They grow for 80-110 days and become hard-ass, thick-skinned, and incredibly flavorful. Their tough exterior allows them to last for an extended period without spoiling. However, most winter squashes need to be peeled before they can enter your belly.
Type-o winter squashes include butternut, acorn, delicata, honey nut, and pumpkin.
Containered Squashes
There are plenty of varietals of both summer and winter squashes that thrive in containers. Look for a smaller plant with a compact growth habit (compact summer squashes) and a short, thick fruit (compact winter squashes) when picking ones for container gardens.
We recommend bush acorn and bushkin pumpkins for winter, and black magic zucchini and bush crookneck (yellow squash) for the summer season.
Step 2: Select Seeds or Transplants
After picking a varietal, you've gotta choose between seeds or fully-grown transplants. Both have their advantages and woes, but in the end, it boils down to your personal preference.
Seeds
Opting for seeds means you'll have a wider selection of varietals at your disposal. However, seeds can be more vulnerable to hungry beasts like moths and slugs. They're also pretty sensitive to rot, water moisture, and temperature changes. Seeds are also significantly cheaper, as you can buy about seven seeds for the price of one transplant!
Transplants
Starting with a transplant guarantees a head start in the growing game, especially if you're jumping in late. Choosing transplants can also make plant placement more precise, which is incredibly important when you've got little space to squander.
The main downside of transplants is their dislike of the transplant process. Many transplants will go into shock, which slows down the timeline for when they yield fruit. Be gentle with your transplants, and ensure their root systems aren't disturbed during the transfer. Other cons include limited varietal options in nurseries and a higher cost compared to buying seeds.
Step 3: Get the Right Pot
Ideal Container for Your Decadent Jack 'o Lantern
Squash can grow pretty dang fast and needs some space to thrive. They also require good drainage to avoid being drowned in their own liquids. We recommend a large plastic container with a diameter of 24 inches and a depth of 12 inches, with at least one drainage hole at the bottom. You can also use a 7-gallon Grow Bag instead. If your plant is a vining type, you may want to find or make a container that includes or is close to a trellis for extra support.
Picking the right varietal is just as crucial as selecting the proper pot, since smaller plants are better for container growing.
Container Space Requirements
The amount of space squash need depends on whether they're a bush or a vining type.
Bush Squash
Compact bush varieties are perfect for container growing, as they never produce side vines and stay relatively compact. They can produce a big payoff, but since they drop all their fruit at once, a problem with the plants will affect the entire harvest.
Bush-type varieties include yellow and acorn squash.
Vining Squash
Vining squashes grow large leaves and tendrils, taking up quite a bit of space. To maximize growing space, use a trellis for added vertical room. Zucchini plants typically have vining squash tendencies and benefit from a trellis or tomato cage.
Step 4: Consider Your Soil
The Perfect Breeding Ground for Your Squash Offspring
Squash plants love a potting mix that's water-soluble and light. Their root systems demand room to grow and may suffer in heavy garden soil, which can smother them.
When you mix your potting soil, aim for equal parts compost, peat moss, perlite, and sphagnum moss. This will result in a blend that's light 'n' well-draining, packed with nutrients.
Organic fertilizer should be added every two weeks during the growing season.
Starting Your Squash Baby Factories
The first steps depend on whether you want to grow seeds or use transplants.
We suggest planting 2-3 seeds, about 1 inch deep and several inches apart, directly in the center of your planting pot. Water the soil to keep it moist but not saturated for about two weeks. Then, evaluate which seedling has sprouted, and excise the weaker ones. Water when the top 2 inches of soil dry out.
Transplanting requires a bit of caution, especially with shock-prone squash plants. Before you pot them, water the base of the plant thoroughly. Dig a hole in the pot twice the size of the container your transplant came in, and bury the root system completely. Pat the soil gently around them until they can stand on their own, and water daily for the first week. After that, reduce watering to one inch per week.
Companion Planting
Since squash plants can be rather large, it's best to give them their own personal space in the pot. However, if you've got a spare inch or two to spare, marigolds and nasturtiums are great companions that can help keep pests at bay.
The Controversial Grow-Pro FAQ
Can You Grow Squash in a Pot?
Absolutely, dude!
How Many Squash Varieties Exist?
Obsessed with counting, are you? Over 100 freakin' varieties, which is way too many for our humble little minds to process!
Is Zucchini a Variety of Squash?
Like reincarnation, obviously, bro!
Can Yellow Summer Squash and Butternut Squash be grown in containers?
Definitely! Look for varietals that produce smaller fruits, such as Crookneck and Honeynut for Yellow and Butternut, respectively.
What Size Pot Do I Need to Grow Squash?
Whether you prefer your coffee with a dash of milk or a dollop of cream, at least a 24-inch diameter and 12-inch deep pot will work just fine.
How Much Sun Does a Squash Plant Need?
At least 6 hours of direct sunlight per day should be sufficient. Don't be afraid to reposition your container during the day if you ain't got the full, consistent sun.
What are the Advantages to Growing Squash in Containers?
Container gardening is awesome 'cause it allows you to grow your own veggies wherever you've got space - balcony, backyard, small patio. It's a sneaky and discreet way to cultivate your own produce without drawing unwanted attention from nosey neighbors!
Do I Need to Fertilize Squash in Containers?
You should fertilize your container garden every two weeks after seeds have sprouted.
- For fall recipes, consider growing squash in your apartment, even in a container, with the right guidelines.
- Container gardening is a viable option for growing squash, even in small spaces like apartments.
- When choosing to grow squash in a container, select compact varietals with smaller fruits and shorter growth habits.
- Squash plants, whether grown from seeds or transplants, prefer well-draining potting soil with equal parts compost, peat moss, perlite, and sphagnum moss.
- Squash plants grown in containers may benefit from a trellis for support, particularly vining types like zucchini.
